A symmetrical body
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
I love researchers. If it weren’t for researchers and their preposterous pointless surveys and “studies”, the world of potential column subjects would be decimated at a stroke.
There’s a new one, in the Daily Mail yesterday, about the reasons why women have sex. All sorts of reasons, apparently. My favourite example was the woman who admitted to researchers “to having sex just so her husband would put the rubbish out.” Jesus, what does she HAVE in those bin bags? Anvils? Put your own rubbish out! Or, if you’re going to all the trouble of having sex, get him to bung some shelves up at least.
Then there was a bit about what women would like, physically, in a partner. According to the Mail, “the research concluded that women are attracted to men with deep voices, who smell good. A symmetrical body also helps, since it is a genetic indicator of health and suggests he will give his lover strong children.”
Well, yes. Did we really need researchers to unearth that information? What were they expecting - that women would say their ideal man was squeaky and reeking, with one enormous disproportionate shoulder? I’m not saying one couldn’t love a man like that; it is a strangely accurate description of one of my early boyfriends. But, given the chance to dream, offered a vast pure canvas on which to sketch perfection, invited to throw open their minds to ultimate fantasy, women said: “We’d take a symmetrical body and basic hygiene.”
I never want to hear a man complain again that it is hard to get laid.