Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player

Charlie Brooker fans

Friday, 28 August 2009

Wow. Do you know how many extra people have stopped by this site since I did You Have Been Watching? SIX THOUSAND. Course, that’s not very much in Charlie Brookerworld. Do you know how many followers he has on Twitter? SIXTY THREE THOUSAND.

  Still, six thousand is a lot, isn’t it? Imagine if they were all coming for dinner; that’s one hell of a big lasagne. And here they are, ringing the bell, curious to find out who the wittery girl was on the Charlie Brooker show. Hello Charlie Brooker fans! Welcome to my world! In a nutshell: card games, dictionaries, tough quizzes and cake-baking. That’s about the size of it.

  I’m very conscious of them stopping by to look me up and down, like a new boyfriend’s mother, and I’ve been wondering what my next blog should be about. What sort of lasagne should I be serving up for these sophisticated passing visitors? Unfortunately, I can’t write as well as Charlie Brooker. That’s not false modesty. I think I can write perfectly well. Just not as well as Charlie Brooker. AND I DON’T WANT TO DISAPPOINT THEM.

  So, instead of writing a blog, I’m going to post a link to the only other time I’ve done a show with Charlie Brooker. That works: it’s got me in it, which is allowed because it’s my blog, but mainly it’s got Charlie Brooker in it, which is good news for our guests. I was only there for about 40 seconds. It was the beginning of episode of ScreenWipe, I filmed a minute’s worth of a potentially brilliant documentary which, sadly, never got made.

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David Bodycombe at 3:10 am on August 28th, 2009

I find that the concept of large numbers easily gets lost when you’re talking about the size of TV audiences.

Only Connect’s ratings of around 270,000 are fairly small in TV terms (but very good for digital). Yet it is the equivalent of the show having a 12-night residency at the O2 Arena.

I can hear the crowd chanting now: Ep-si-lon! Ep-si-lon!

Jim at 9:59 am on August 28th, 2009

One of my favourite screenwipe moments!

I’m sure the interlopers will be gone in no time. (not really, I fear your fanship has just gotten wider—soon it won’t be cool to like you, you’ll be so…. mainstream)

nonimus at 10:22 am on August 28th, 2009

Anyone who loathes piers morgan is a friend of mine :) mind you i dont really know anything about charlie, i haven’t googled him, but i’m sure the chap is an idol to some of you people reading these blogs.

Dan at 12:16 pm on August 28th, 2009

Wonderful opening music.  When is History of Corners - the CD coming out?  Where’s the website?  Where’s the magazine?

spoonofmilk at 12:56 pm on August 28th, 2009

Best episode of You Have Been Watching… and glad to say I knew perfectly well who you were, Victoria! Been a big fan since Balderdash and Piffle and even more so now you’re a PokerStar! :)

And Charlie Brooker is awesome too…

MartinLondon at 1:17 pm on August 28th, 2009

interestingly, you appear to have even crossed over to football fansites.

See, one appearance on a late-night chat/quiz show.

It has been a great series, by the way, you should catch up on some more of it. And you were excellent yourself last night too.

Julia at 1:19 pm on August 28th, 2009

I think I’ve spotted a factual inaccuracy in that documentary. Surely the first mention of a ‘corner’ is from Geoffrey of Monmouth’s History of the Kings of England in the 12th century when he mentions that Harold II peeked round the corner of an ‘oxe byre’ at the battle of Hastings to see if the Normans had gone yet and received that fateful arrow in his eye?

Andy Ward at 1:20 pm on August 28th, 2009

Funnily enough, it’s the other way round for me.  Your blog the other day led me to the TV Go Home website which I spent most of yesterday evening giggling at.  I think Indiana Jones and the Doomed Office Romance was my favourite.


charlie at 1:42 pm on August 28th, 2009

Aye the Brooker man is FUNNY and popular too, as popular as any man with a face like a rucksack full of dented bells can be.

Shemp at 5:02 pm on August 28th, 2009

In response to Jim, I hope not! My little sister (10 years old) loves Giles Coren from the The Supersizers Go… series, and my mother when watching you on Charlie Brooker’s show had no clue who you were, sadly :(

JS Darwen at 5:10 pm on August 28th, 2009

Hi Victoria,
I admit I’m a newbie to your blog having seen your stellar performance on YHBW, well done on winning by the way! Any chance of a return appearance next series?

I guess there’s quite a big crossover between Brooker / Coren fans. I certainly seem to remember loving Balderdash and my Mondays wouldn’t be complete without some healthy shouting at the TV during Only Connect. (“Aaaaargh! You can put the word “snow” in front of them! Of course!”)

Combine all that with chocolate cake recipes and I’m hooked!

stormer85 at 5:28 pm on August 28th, 2009

lol, i remember that episode. Hope he does some more Screenwipe, I liked the ‘You have been Watching’ programme, but I think Mr Brooker was better on the bbc4 stuff,  I always thought of it as a sophisticated version of Harry Hilly’s TV Burp.

Carl at 5:43 pm on August 28th, 2009

Very, very funny clip, hadn’t seen that episode before…loved the use of inverted commas when talking about Dizzee!

Carter Magna at 5:52 pm on August 28th, 2009

A few months ago if you typed Piers Morgan Moron into google my blog was the second hit. Even without the search narrowing quotation marks! I was so very proud but now it appears to have slipped, well, slipped, tripped and plummeted down to a lowly 241st out of 5,600. Still, I was up there once man. I was up there.

My flatmate and I wish to know though VC, why has Only Connect got such a short run? We’ve been avidly following since the start, high fiving like Americans when we answered a question correctly once every fortnight, and would like to see more. Any chance your celebrity pals can have a word with them upstairs?

BadNewsBear at 6:56 pm on August 28th, 2009

Hi Victoria.

As its my first reply, I have to admit to being more than a little beguiled!  We’ve all come galloping on here to look you up because we thought HELLO! (possibly in a Leslie Philips kind of way) Who is this? Endowed with more insouciance than an escaping balloon and looks hot enough to make my trousers explode you keep hypnotising me to the tv.  Frankly if you make enough lasagne for 6000 you might be best to call me to help eat it. Garfield did so hate coming second. Anyway I must toddle as the doctor says its time to medicate.

What an excellent holdall for your brain!


M at 8:23 pm on August 28th, 2009

I wouldn’t be so in awe of Brooker if I was you. Whilst he plays a role in “You Have Been Watching” the guests, including yourself are much more pivotal to the program. I am one of those six thousand that dropped by after watching you on it. I’d just like to congratulate you on a great blog, I’ll keep reading!

Jeff Smith at 9:56 pm on August 28th, 2009

Just watched “You have been watching”. You have nothing to fear. You came across as charming erudite and funny in the right places. An “Observer” Column made flesh in fact, and you won to boot. As for the scared of looking short and fat, you couldn’t if you tried. Cheesy I know, but true. The absolute picture of loveliness.

Bngr at 11:14 pm on August 28th, 2009

That Jack Whitehall was seriously good looking.

Josh Lyman at 11:15 pm on August 28th, 2009

Hi Victoria, I just wanted to echo the many plaudits for your appearance on the Charlie Brooker programme this week.  I thought you came across very well, and having watched the programme before reading about your mini-crisis of self-confidence beforehand, you certainly appeared well within your comfort zone alongside three other very funny individuals.  Having now googled you, I realise that for several years I have had you confused with Petronella Wyatt, but I now realise that you are considerably younger, more attractive and more talented than her - and a better writer to boot.  You are a credit to your father.  Congratulations on your achievements across such a range of activities, and best wishes for continued success in all of them.

nathan stockill at 11:56 pm on August 28th, 2009

after watching you on “you have been watching” i have decided to marry you, any objections ?

Andrew at 3:16 am on August 29th, 2009

Ah - the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.  Yummeeee.

Old Brooker’s right about the credits.

Roger at 10:03 am on August 29th, 2009

I am worried… There is far too much praise about you on this site. This could go too far. You wil end up with thousands of fans outside your window expecting a four course meal! I have always said you should write a cookery book and film a new show.. With Big Brother finishing there is a gap in the market… On the road with Vicky…or how about Vicky gets married/Vicky does Blackpool. You have 10 days to meet someone, marry them, get divorced and then re-marry! The twist is that your fans get to choose…

nonimus at 3:32 pm on August 29th, 2009

If i were called victoria, well firstly it would be an odd name for a male, but i would hate getting called vicky, vicky sounds like a chav name to me.

Alex at 6:27 pm on August 29th, 2009

Hey VC,

I had completely forgotten about your ‘corners’ segment on Screenwipe; ‘yeah hurray for fuckin corners, go on, piss off Coren’ lmao!
Please please do not pander to Brooker fans! Some, like me, can like both Brooker and you at the same time. Although, you’re not on the telly enough! You need your own programme, you could educate us on the history of pencil sharpeners and cor blimey, you’d make it watchable. Go make some telly and you’ll get your 6000 a day fix.

daniel maris at 2:54 am on August 30th, 2009

Well, let me assure you I am no Brooker fan. I mean how you can you moan and groan about cheap TV feeding off itself for a couple of years and then put on your own programme…which consists of cheap TV feeding off itself!  I think it’s called chutzpah.

I was only watching it because I happened to find you on there being your usual stimulating self and Phil Jupitus is quite amusing as well, to be fair.

Anyway, what else should you serve up here? 

How about you tell us what people from history you would like to have along to a dinner party and why. That would be interesting.

Paddy O'Furniture at 11:14 am on September 1st, 2009

Charlie Brooker fans?!?!? *horrified face*

Modesty & self deprecation… endearing as ever…

Of course we couldn’t possibly just be long-ish term VC fans who recently retrieved our respective tongues from our respective cats, and finally plucked up the courage to put up our hands & say “Please Miss”...

No, you’re absolutely right of course.
We’re all here waxing lyrical about your beguiling and exquisite wonderfulness, because it’s Brooker we like really…

And, much as I adore a right rollicking good lasagne, there’s really no need to go to all that trouble. Sit, pour the tea, and try a slice of the raspberry & ginger.  I made it especially, in the shape of Charlie Brooker… If you don’t like it you can always chew him up & spit him out…

Michael at 5:01 pm on September 28th, 2009

I used to like and respect Charlie Brooker. I have since worked with a comedy act called Kunt and the Gang three times in Manchester. Each time has been a harrowing and stern experience.
Then I saw a quote from a Charlie Brooker article praising Kunt and the Gang on the latter’s promotional material.
This was like finding out a new partner likes Ashton Kutcher or is a Nazi. I know Brooker’s a funny man and possesses a great turn of phrase but I don’t think I can forgive this MASSIVE oversight.
Look up Kunt and the Gang on YouTube and gawp in horror.
Victoria, if you read this you are now connected to this act in a ‘Six Degrees of Seperation’ style link-up.
And if you don’t read this you’re still connected to this act in a ‘Six Degrees of Seperation’ style link-up.

Victoria Coren

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