Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player


Concern For The Tastebuds Of Gamblers

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

I was in the Vic the other night and John Garfield ordered a plate of chips. It made me think I really wanted a plate of chips. I’m so suggestible.

But when the plate came, John looked at the chips and said they looked strange. He was suspicious. They weren’t the right sort of colour. They didn’t look like chips.

The waitress urged him to try one.
He tried one and nearly spat it out.

“No, no!” he said. “These taste all wrong. Take them back to the kitchen. I’ll have something else.”

  But I still kept on daydreaming about chips. I decided to order a plate anyway.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t”, said the waitress (one of the new ones whose names I don’t know). “The chips aren’t going down well tonight. People keep sending them back.”

  I told her I’d gone there to gamble. I ordered a plate regardless.

  Twenty minutes later, she brought the plate. And she said, “The chef says he hopes they’re okay and he’s asked me to apologize if they’re a bit strange. The problem is that yesterday we ran out of McCains. So, tonight, he’s having to make all the chips out of potato.”

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Comments

Phil at 1:33 am on March 31st, 2010

Umm ok so what are McCains made from if not potato? What reconstituted soy hideousness has been making its way down into my poor tummy all these years unbeknownst to me?
Smoking is also not good for the tastebuds; though in your case it has given your voice a great edge so I guess it’s a fair trade-off.
So what would you rather Vicky; pristine palette and voice of a soprano, or hugely succesful poker career and chip (potato) doubt?


Dave Budd at 8:13 am on March 31st, 2010

My first wife’s parents lived 200 yards from a McCain’s factory. They weren’t happy about it.
Morrison’s own brand are cheaper.
Our local chippy still uses beef dripping in the friers: can’t be beat.


Ginger Pogue at 8:46 am on March 31st, 2010

Maybe in future the management of the Vic should print an allergy warning on their menus - CAUTION: Our chips may contain potato.


Jim at 9:00 am on March 31st, 2010

Tastebuds? I’d say blood pressure and heart-disease are much more concerning if this is the lifestyle you (I, we…) maintain.

Sedentary, social smoking, fast food… oh dear. I’m surprised there are so many old poker players around.


Markjb at 12:08 pm on March 31st, 2010

That made me laugh…and it’s not even April 1st yet.
The nature of chips I think is increasingly becoming a topic of discussion in this country, like the weather.

But did your gamble pay off Vicky? Were they delicious, did you send them back, or accept them heroically?


The Tim at 1:24 pm on March 31st, 2010

Should I have heard of John Garfield? I’m afraid I also naively assumed that places like that always cut their own chips.

Interesting admission to your own suggestibility.
BTW, I’m now just about to eat a curry with lots of coriander.


AndytheDealer at 2:45 pm on March 31st, 2010

...and they were the best chips I’ve had in a long time.

The trouble is, John, along with a lot of other poker players, wants to be an astronaut, so he’s getting used to eating unearthly food just in case NASA give him a call.


Bill Green at 2:48 pm on March 31st, 2010

You’re a bit early for April Fools.


Cazzbar at 5:38 pm on March 31st, 2010

I thought chips were like sex and pizza, even when bad, it’s still good.

Anyway, apologies for the delay, I’m here now :)


Kevin at 10:21 pm on March 31st, 2010

Cod & Chips, Egg & Chips, Fishfingers & Chips, all very nice, with or without peas. I have to admit that when I first saw Vicky’s column, in the Sunday paper, I couldn’t quite fathom it out. It seemed so uniquely tongue-in-cheek at times, yet very serious in other directions. Nowdays, I think Vicky’s column is a breath of fresh air that livens up a Sunday no end.


Perry at 11:12 pm on March 31st, 2010

It’s like on the front of the mcdonalds chicken nuggets one time, when it said “made from 100% real chicken”

I dread to think what was in it before, so I tell my mind to only worry about important things, like “Should I bluff the absolute rock on the table on a 4-straight/flush board with 8-high?”

Life’s all about priorities.


Kevin at 5:39 am on April 1st, 2010

Well, I have to say that I have never come across a blog like this. Would it not be reasonable to indicate that a submission has been edited?

[MODERATOR: COMMENTS SUBMITTED TO THIS BLOG DO NOT ALWAYS GO UP, FOR EXAMPLE IF THEY CONTAIN SOMETHING ABUSIVE OR UNPLEASANT, ARE IN QUESTIONABLE TASTE OR IF THEY JUST DON’T MAKE SENSE. OFTEN, ERRORS OF GRAMMAR OR SPELLING ARE CORRECTED BEFORE POSTING. ON A POKER THEME, SOMETIMES THEY ARE CUT OR EDITED IF THEY SIMPLY TELL A LONG BAD BEAT STORY THAT NOBODY WANTS TO READ! IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO REMOVE A COUPLE OF LINES AND POST A COMMENT WHICH IS OTHERWISE FINE, THAT’S THE PREFERRED METHOD. NOTHING IS EVER ADDED (UNLESS IT’S A MISSING LETTER IN A HURRIEDLY TYPED WORD). BUT THIS ISN’T TREATED AS A COMPLETELY OPEN SPACE WHERE EVERYTHING POSTED GOES UP; SORRY.]


The Tim at 1:06 pm on April 1st, 2010

I just wanted to see if Kevin’s right and that completely pointless blogs like this one really do indeed get removed.


Kevin at 4:14 pm on April 1st, 2010

Ridiculous answer. What is questionable about someone saying someone else has a wonderful sense of humour?

[MOD: KEVIN, THE POST SEEMED TO ME A LITTLE BIT TOO HEAVY WITH INNUENDO. SORRY IF IT WASN’T INTENDED THAT WAY AND YOU CAN BLAME MY HEAD. BUT THIS WILL ALWAYS BE AN EDITED FORUM WHERE IT FEELS APPROPRIATE, WHETHER SOMETHING FEELS TOO RUDE, TOO SARCASTIC, UNPLEASANT OR JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. SO MANY WEB FORUMS AND BLOGS ARE OVERWHELMED WITH THAT KIND OF THING; THAT’S ABSOLUTELY FINE, BUT THIS ONE’S INTENDED MORE LIKE A BENEVOLENT COFFEE MORNING AND THERE’S BEEN TOO MUCH BICKERING LATELY. TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU’D RATHER NOT POST ANY MORE. I CAN ONLY ADVISE THAT COMMENTS HERE MAY ALWAYS BE CUT OR REMOVED AT MODERATOR’S DISCRETION. SORRY.]


The Tim at 5:24 pm on April 1st, 2010

So, Mod, do you reely bother to go throogh and corect all the speling misstakes? 

[MOD: SOMETIMES ;-) ]

I quite agree with the mod that many other forums suffer from inappropriate postings and I welcome your intervention in what must be a very thankless task.


shane phelan at 8:57 pm on April 5th, 2010

hi vickey…I’m here to gamble, I’ll take the chips lol…nice touch


Wildride at 6:32 am on April 16th, 2010

Here in Canada there’s a McCains ad that askes “What’s the difference between a McCains fry and a potato?”  And it then answers, “Not much.”  Apparently they are very mistaken.


working_lunch at 11:26 pm on April 18th, 2010

interesting to hear you are suggestible, I read a really good research paper on poker reads…. written by me…. which I bet you’re curious to read just to know how good or bad it is….. can I suggest you contact me and we can go through the paper :)


Victoria Coren

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