Curb the press
Sunday, 7 December 2008
Newspapers are so cruel. Remember that nice picture of Helen Mirren looking fantastic, aged 62, in a red bikini? That good press couldn’t last. Ever since then, the paparazzi have been stalking her, in a desperate attempt to get the counter-picture.
Finally, due to a combination of bad light, windy weather and a sticking-up label, they’ve managed to snap her looking a little bit less like a teenage siren and a little bit more like a pensioner on a beach - although she still, frankly, looks better in a bikini than I do.
It’s yet another reason to avoid becoming too famous: the risk that you might get photographed unwittingly in a swimsuit. Luckily, that doesn’t happen if you stick to quiz shows on BBC Four. Still, for the sake of others, I think there should be new rules, so that people can enjoy their holidays properly without worrying. Newspapers already pixellate the faces of children who are “papped”, if they’re under 16. Maybe they should start pixellating the bums of anybody over 22.