Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player

FREE BOOKS (competition now closed)

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


Right, I think it’s about time I gave something back. There are competitions to win free copies of my new book on a poker website and a TV show on Sky, why not here?

SO there are three free copies available - signed, if you would like the value reduced immediately…

In order to win a copy, I would like you to tell me this: If you were going to write a book about your own greatest passion in life, what would it be about and what would the title be?

The competition will remain open until Sunday September 20th, and make sure to use your real email address when posting (it will not appear on the page).

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Oliver at 2:12 am on September 16th, 2009

I fear my greatest passion in life is cricket (I think we’ve found something worse to like than poker!). About: why I like cricket, why I wish I didn’t, why cricket rather randomly got me involved in the rare book collecting field (that’ll be a chapter to skip!), oh and how cricket pervades everything in life (even a connecting wall in a hit BBC4 quiz show . . .!). Um, title, let’s go with “Stumped for a better title! ”

Matt Taylor at 2:41 am on September 16th, 2009

It’s a simple one but my greatest pleasure in recent years has been travelling around the country to catch up with old, long-lost-and-recently-discovered-on-facebook friends over a beer.  It’s essentially been both a fascinating opportunity to explore this island of ours and a chance to see which of my old friends has grown up to either a) be hot or b) work in I.T.

And the title:

‘Have Railcard, Will Travel’

spanther22 at 3:08 am on September 16th, 2009

i have 1 true passion in life.  one thing that keeps me going and that thing is ranting online about nepotism and how if only i knew the right people i would be the SUCCESS my genius deserves and not the abject failure i have somehow become.

the title would be

(sociopathic squeaks and other deluded drivel)

Ken at 8:01 am on September 16th, 2009


I’d write about exploring the connections between disciplines and ideas - I really enjoy the journey..I rarely end up where I expect.

Titles, erm: A Creative Convergence (too stuffy, I know), This Is What I Think…(self indulgent, but my favorite)

Thanks for running this competition,



Leigh at 8:06 am on September 16th, 2009

I’d write a book called “Hate Mail” about how, despite many lucrative offers and opportunities to shill, I’ve managed to indulge my passion of never writing a word for the Daily Mail.

No need for free copy. Have bought one to help save you from such temptations in the future & preventing another little piece of you dying.

texcoast44 at 8:28 am on September 16th, 2009

I’m most passionate about practising law and the trials and tribulations thereof.  I’d title my book about such, “Murphy’s Lawyer.”


Random Reader at 10:54 am on September 16th, 2009

I’m a mathematician. A professional mathematician. And I mean that in the classic “work at a university” sense of the words.

There’s an old joke about an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician who are discussing whether it is best to have a wife or a girlfriend. The engineer wants a girlfriend as a solid foundation is a pre-requisite for anything good to be constructed. The physicist wants a girlfriend because amazing things can be made from a spark. But the mathematician wants a wife and a girlfriend, because there are times when the wife thinks you are with the girlfriend, and the girlfriend thinks you are with the wife, and during those times you can go back into the office and do some more maths.

My passion is for my branch of mathematics and my passionate defense of the subject was deemed far too long for this site.

So I broke it up into smaller sections, which were presumably deemed far too long for this site too.

In desperation, I’ve uploaded it to the web instead, despite the fact that I don’t think I’m going to be allowed hyperlinks. Eternal optimism is the marked of the determined academic.

Andrew Morris at 11:44 am on September 16th, 2009

“A Stochastic Approach to Condensed Matter Physics”, the title of the thesis I’m finally hoping to submit next week! It’s about using random numbers, so called Monte Carlo techniques, to study aspects of physics.  After being fascinated by physics since secondary school it’s amazing that I’m finally getting to write about what I love!

I’d better get back to writing otherwise it’ll never be finished!

M at 12:16 pm on September 16th, 2009

Hmmm… in terms of a passion, the book would have to be about people, because really they are all we have… as to the book title: Touching the void.

Sam at 12:35 pm on September 16th, 2009

Difficult. At only 21 years old it is hard to have developed sufficient life experiences to really write with authority on anything.

I think though I would write about education. Education is often considered boring, but it is a great gift which we could realistically give to every person in the world, rich or poor. Yet we are let down in this country by a poor system which fails thousands of students on a daily basis, and on a global scale because we prefer an aggressive foreign policy to an altruistic one (the reasons for which are obvious, but that of course does not make it right on either a moral or political scale).

I would split it into two sections. The first about the education system in the UK, and the second internationally.

Perhaps I would call it “Not One Person Excluded”

eightiesdisco at 12:41 pm on September 16th, 2009

I like observing the inexhaustable supply of human folly that constitutes the toilet circuit of the music industry. I would name the book after the chosen name of the band whose story would lie at the heart of the tale, epitomising the complete and transparent lack of imagination or aptitute which would be the books theme. To add spice I would place the band in a market town adjascent to a huge rock festival, and yet curiously uninspired by it.

The band would be The Trew (The True and The Tru would be band names so unimaginative they would already have been taken) and the book would be The Trew Story

Julia at 12:42 pm on September 16th, 2009

Ooh I think it would be about my love for Sci Fi and I’d call it ‘The Geek Shall Inherit’

Paul at 1:25 pm on September 16th, 2009

My passion is entering competitions. Alas I have never won any. This can be quite depressing, especially if the prize is of such exceptional quality as a book by the most breathtakingly beautiful poker player on the planet. When I eventually win a competition (hopefully a book written by the most intelligent and wittiest host of a BBC4 quiz ever) the title of any subsequent book will be; ‘Flattery WILL get you somewhere’.

Clyde at 2:18 pm on September 16th, 2009

I think i would write a book about my passionate love of Ancient History, in each chapter of which I would answer various important questions such as ‘Why the Athenians wouldn’t know democracy if it slapped them in the face’ and ‘Why Plato was wrong about EVERYTHING’.

I think i would call the book ‘Hadrian’s wall comes tumbling down’.

C Scott at 2:25 pm on September 16th, 2009

‘Pink’s Pool and Pinball Parlour’, reflecting the passions of my mispent, and embarrassingly protracted, youth. Pink was my canine companion throughout those years.
Now, in my 40s, I’m being paid to write ‘Post-Foucauldian Realist Governmentality and the Strategic Environmental Assessment/‘Good Governance’ Nexus’. Oh well.

(@M - In terms of non-passion for people: ‘Avoiding the Touch’?)

Malc at 3:10 pm on September 16th, 2009

My passion is for MANCHESTER CITY F.C.
I love the team with so much passion when they win,and i hate them with so much passion when they lose!
I had really wonderful moments,and really depressing times!
I have met lifelong friends!
You go to games with the hope of something fantastic happening, and find out that your hopes are FALSE HOPES!!!!
The title would be THE BEST OF TIMES!!!
The only other passion is for a beautiful pokerplayer with the initals of VC! (does this help me win)

Bill Green at 5:05 pm on September 16th, 2009

Perhaps a book about my passion for posting on the internet under false names: “Web of Dishonesty”.

Keith at 6:34 pm on September 16th, 2009

The book is be called “The Power in Women”

It is a study of women who overcame tremendous odds, or simply excelled in venues where men dominate and expect to dominate, thus inspiring other women to venture forth without fear, and perhaps even with optimism.

You go, Vicky!

MarkP at 9:43 pm on September 16th, 2009

My book would be about a Brummie industrial electrician, a rollercoaster of a ride in 300 pages. A tale full of highs, lows and ennui, lots of ennui. From the early days of finding you actually get paid to attend college and wind up teachers “no Mark, it’s nothing to do with deserts”. Later, the foray into the world of estates dept in a mental health institution where I find things haven’t really changed, you still get paid to attend courses, except this time I’m sure the teachers are doing the winding up as we are told that “every time your car drops oil when parked a Polar Bear gets liver disease”. I’m thinking ‘one day in the life of Ivan Denisovich’ meets ‘on the buses’, without the snow…or the buses.
A title ‘from hard drives to hard hats’.

Martin JUmp at 10:08 pm on September 16th, 2009

I think I would write a book on my daughter. She is 4 weeks old now, as first time parents it’s a steep learning curve. It’s complicated by a cleft pallet and MCADD. To throw a poker stats twist they are 700-1 & 15000-1 as conditions go.

I would love to be able to offer some help to others with the same issues.


Steve at 10:42 pm on September 16th, 2009

Not sure I have a hugely identifiable passion although I do have an urge to grow wheat. With youngest daughter about to head off to Uni - my good lady and I have thought we’d do more in garden again and dig a bit of lawn up for a vegetable patch.

I got thinking…. ‘how much wheat would I need to provide enough flour for a loaf of bread?’

So, were I to write a book it would probably be about my current passion “growing a loaf of bread”. I reckon it would be an epic judging by my first hurdle which also represents my chosen title, from my wife’s response. My title would be…..

“You ain’t growing any f-ing wheat in My Garden!”

M at 10:47 pm on September 16th, 2009

@C Given a title of ‘Avoiding the Touch’ I would be tempted to make it an extremely purple prose book in an appropriate bodice ripper style, tongue firmly in cheek but with an occasional hint of lingering sadness.

Jimmy Arrier at 11:17 pm on September 16th, 2009

Playing guitar is my passion, my relaxation, my solace, my unexplored world. There’s a concept called ‘flow’ which embodies the immersion of the body and mind in an activity, provides focus and concentration to a very deep natural instinctive level, where time passing is a distant sensation. Playing the guitar gives me ‘flow’. I can spend hours wandering the frets, scribbling melody and phrasing harmony with the strings as my dictionary. My guitar is my lover: the curvaceous body, the slender neck, the sweet voice. One girlfriend was actually jealous!

Title: Till the Fingers Bleed

David R at 2:56 am on September 17th, 2009

Ancient Chinese poetry:

I also like Duran Duran, in so far as I admire the courage they have to always go their own way, and do their own thing even if music critics don’t like it. In fact, I think half the problem music critics have with them is in their total refusal to take on board anything any critic has ever said to them throughout their whole career. Hooray!
(Don’t need to enter the book comp, cheers.)

Peter H at 7:17 am on September 17th, 2009

My greatest passion in life is neckwear.  I think that ties, cravats and scarves are the most powerful items of clothing one can wear and should not be considered an afterthought when one is pulling together an outfit. 

My book would be a series of semi autobiographichal vignettes linked by neckwear and would touch upon such issues as the difference between America and Great Britain as exemplified by the way the stripes on diagonal striped ties go in the opposite direction on American ties.  It would be light hearted in tone but would hopefully leave the reader with a higher regard for the importance of neckwear. 

The title would be :

“Scarf - Ace”

Fitch at 9:27 am on September 17th, 2009

My passion is to find a way to cope with depression.You can feel it coming on, but you can’t do anything about it, except lock yourself in, until it passes on its merry way. The book would be called “Behind The Big Black Cloud”

Cheerful soul aren’t I.

C Scott at 10:19 am on September 17th, 2009

@M or perhaps a Bukowski-esque tale of toiling for a certain computer manufacturer whose (genuine) practice for firing folk was, at the end of the probationary period, to tap them on the shoulder, from behind, at which point the hapless sackees were expected to gather up their belongings and leave without a word.
I look forward to finding yours on a public library shelf near me though.

All - please excuse misspellling of ‘misspent’ above - only goes to show how misspent it was!

Paul Evans at 11:20 am on September 17th, 2009

I don’t honestly think that I could manage 60,000 words on the joy of drinking lager in the bath. And since my flatmates banned me from doing so, I am no longer allowed to smoke in the bath. But I am considering an illustrated pamphlet on the subject – perhaps even a “graphic novel”.

PJ at 12:30 pm on September 17th, 2009

Open-toed footwear is my thing. Book would be titled - Notes On A Sandal.

Rain at 1:04 pm on September 17th, 2009

I would love to think that the mature English elm might one day return to the countryside.In the 60s and 70s, the loss of over 20 million was a silent catastrophe which changed the way England had looked for centuries.
  Geneticists are the most likely to provide a solution, but laymen who miss the unassuming and ramshackle giant are content to observe, record and launch sporadic campaigns to replant saplings from trees which survived the blight in the hope that they might have DED-immunity.
  I’d love to be in a position to write a book called ‘Restoration’ with all the intimations the word has for a returning king. The biography of anyone who led an effective replantation could be ‘The Great Elmsman’.....>oh groan<.

Rain at 1:13 pm on September 17th, 2009

Got the book already though, so not a serious competitor. And quite frankly I am profoundly SHOCKED and DISTURBED by the numbers of visitors to this thread who are not apparently in the same boat.. Pah, call yourself sycophants?!

Rob S at 2:40 pm on September 17th, 2009

I have had so many great passions, I wouldn’t know where to start.. Apart from Poker, and blagging freebies of course, my latest passion is Warhammer. You know, dice, miniature home painted models of goblins and geeks arguing about the finer points of the flank charge rule.
At 40something I may too old for this sort of behaviour, but I’ve got into it because my 9 year old daughter is into it.
And so, there lies the deeper answer. My greatest passion is probably my kids and spending time with them, doing the things they like.

Title: How about, ‘Why can’t they find cheap hobbies?’....

Jamie at 3:24 pm on September 17th, 2009

Pub Quizzes are one of my many passions. They’re absolutely fascinating and come in all shapes and sizes. When I travel around the UK through work, I always get a few of colleagues together and try out a pub quiz. It’s amazing to see the vast differences around the country in what is quite a rather simple concept.

The book would feature many funny and interesting stories and questions from my seven/eight years of entering and hosting pub quizzes. I’d also love to travel around and insert stories from other pub quizzers.

As for the title of the book: Quiz Team Aguilera: Pub Masterminds.

Masterminds in reference, of course, to the famous TV quiz show, but also a play on words, due to the fact that the book consists of many minds coming together and sharing their stories.

Stu at 6:40 pm on September 17th, 2009

Hamlet.  Shakespeare’s Hamlet.  All potentially 4 hours of it.

Apart from being one of the most complex dramas in the English language apparently able to withstand an infinite number of interpretations, done well it can also be exciting, funny, heart breaking and infuriating in equal measure.

I’ve seen it at least 20 times in different productions and in many more adaptations and could see it again and again.  I’ve seen the ponderous, the comic, the feminist, the porno, the cartoon, with Martin Jarvis explaining the story:: the dane

The title: “Four Hours (with Fortinbras)”  Or something.  That needs work. 

It’s just a pity hundreds of other people have got there before me.  Which is why I write a blog about it instead.

Addster at 7:04 pm on September 17th, 2009

Not sure I have what could be called a passion (“Jack Of No Trades”?), except for a general love of knowledge (“Info Freako”?). I do have a knack for making embarrassing mistakes, though (“Disgrace Under Pressure”?).

My copy of the book is already on the way from Amazon, but if you feel like donating one to a library on my behalf, then go right ahead (“Charity Begins Away From Home”?).

David R at 11:05 pm on September 17th, 2009

To tell you the truth, I only put Duran Duran in my last email because I thought it would be a funny juxtaposition with “Ancient Chinese poetry”. I really wanted to put Handel in, but it didn’t fit so well. So then I had to follow the brief, and say why Duran Duran was my passion. I mean, I like DD, but I wouldn’t go as far to say they are my passion. I guess one of my passions must be juxtapositions. I mean pot plants.

adam at 12:47 am on September 18th, 2009

oh how unfair that poker has gone so, i can’t have “my 4 king hell”,“there’s a rocket in my pocket” or “how my nuts were cracked by a gay waiter”
i suppose i spend a lot of time gardening and could have “hosta la vista” or on the calming effect of making one’s own fertilizer “compost mentis”.
for a passion though it would have to be being raising my children- “from here to paternity”, though my youngest, seraphina, is at school now so it could be “sans seraph”
still waiting for the only connect champion of champions, did i miss it?

Dan Maharry at 8:05 am on September 18th, 2009

My greatest passion is simply to try new things as much and as often as I can. A jack of all activities and master of none. To which end, I’ve crewed films, plays, acted, written books, written websites, thrown myself off bridges and airplanes, saw the millennium in as near to the date line as I could get, and the list goes on. I’ve never been to a literary festival so far, but I’ll do that this weekend too in Woodstock. See you there.

Ian L at 10:18 am on September 18th, 2009

The search for the Chameleons: The story of Manchester’s great lost band

Do not think it requires much explanation. A story of music brilliance being denied by internal disputes and the machinations of the music industry and ‘cause music can move me like nothing else at its best.

I could not come up with anything more witty than that. I would have thought a better question would be what’s your favourite or least favourite hand. I hate those damn jacks always raise get called then an Ace or King lands on the flop. Causing me to fold or raise to find they ain’t bluffing

M at 4:06 pm on September 18th, 2009

@C Not an author I have read, but sounds appropriate for the subject matter - one to add to the list for the next trawl through bookstores, thank you. The practice itself sounds familiar to a number which go on, the more you dig into employment the more quirks and exploits you find, sadly (both from the employers and the employees).  Part of why I end up bouncing back to purple prose to cheer myself up ;)

Leon71 at 6:27 pm on September 18th, 2009

Moons ago I was slightly obsessed with a certain plant. I grew it hydroponically. This led to me becoming interested in plant science, then other sciences and ultimately (thus far) physics and astronomy.

If I were to write a book about the experience, I think I’d call it: ‘Wearing Wellies in the loft (an exploration of the fabric of space-time)’.

Andy at 9:19 pm on September 18th, 2009

My main passion is the increasing disconnect between the formal modes of state communication to the Great Unwashed (ie, corporate media) and the actual unregulated communication erupting through the blogosphere, allowing the possibilities of truly free thought to be exhchanged globally for the first time in human history. The potential for true revolution is unprecedented.

The title? “Blog This Book!”

James at 9:25 pm on September 18th, 2009

Sad to say but I can’t really think of any great passions (well, there was a girl in Rickmansworth, and there still is an unfortunate allegiance to a second rate football team - though the passion went out of that some time ago and now we just put up with each other out of habit).

Instead, could I seek pity and state that I’ve today been presented with a very large bill to fix my car and that this: (1) left me feeling as though my solar plexus had been visited by a Bond villain; (2) has blown a hole in my finances so large I do not anticipate being able to afford the book until March 2018.

So please Vicky, I really enjoyed the porno book. Let me laugh again.

Ross Bliss at 10:47 pm on September 18th, 2009

My passion/obsession is trying to understand/silence the constant dialogue that whirls through my head day and night telling me what i should be doing instead when i am reading, playing poker or watching a good movie. I would call it Ross-on-Why.

On another point i found a copy of your book in my local Waterstones under the bizarrely titled ‘Painful Lives’ section. It was accompanied by the likes of June Whitfield and Alan Titchmarsh. Very Strange. I have a photo if you would like it?

I am new to your blog and read a couple of pages of your book in the shop - You are as naturally funny on the page as you seem on screen. Really looking forward to reading the book.


Sir Humphrey Humphington at 11:41 pm on September 18th, 2009

My passion is for ripping off the poor, who have had it rather good in the last few decades thanks to philanthropists/slave-masters like me. Now, we’re pretending to be like them for a while until the whole thing blows over - TV soaps really are like cheap theatre, after all! I might even have to dress myself at some point. Ghastly.

The title? “Humph: C**t”.

BoomBoom at 12:38 am on September 19th, 2009

I guess I have two real passions in life, Carry On films and football so if I combine them into one overall passion I’d get the following books:

Q.P.R a supporters story - “Up the R’s”

Struggles of managing both Rovers and City at the same time - “Juggling both Bristols”

An intimate biography of the legendary 1970’s Algerian International - “Inside Ars Bandeet ” (honestly it’s a real name)

When England played Ian Bishop and John Fashanau (Fash the Bash) against Germany - “Bish, Bash, Bosch”

Okay lost the Carry On theme a bit on that last one but I’ll bring it back by recommending M’s title to win as last weekend I saw a great film with the same title - in fact you could say “I rather enjoyed Touching the Void the other night”

Al Smith at 1:06 am on September 19th, 2009

I wrote something a bit longer and maybe more eloquent but it seems to have been too long so is maybe now lost.  I checked my spelling and everything.  In summary:

Shortly after the first edition of Observer Sport Monthly (and your awesome piece in it), my eyesight and attention span diminished drastically.  Since then, my passion has been collecting large print editions of short stories.  My book would be in this format and would be called: Not Very Long But Quite Thick.  Which could double as my epitaph!

Love you and your writing VC - most consistently funny of all the Observer scribes I’ve been reading the past 15ish years.  I’ve got signed first editions by RS Thomas and Alisdair Grey and would love one from you too.

ROGER at 7:42 am on September 19th, 2009

Passion, desire, romance, lust. Once more, with feeling… Well, my passion is books. They are not just words. You simply connect with the characters and get a sense of the the lifestyle/thoughts of the author. Books are living. You can experience events, ideas, and get to know people.  Books allow you to think. They make you laugh, cry and hopefully to want more. Like chocolate.

From the comedies of Jane Austin to the classics of Victoria Coren, every taste is catered for.

Hey, I saw the word free and wrote my blog post before reading how to actually win a copy!!!! My book would be called ’ The Poker Club’.  The story of how five random people meet in a second hand bookshop, and end up meeting each month to play poker. Random lives, but all connected. Affairs, lust, secrets and scandals….

Phil at 9:20 am on September 19th, 2009

Wow! I’ve never won anything in my life…but please victoria, don’t let pity sway your decision.

I’m lucky enough to be in a position that my main passion in my life is also my job, and as a result I would write about my experiences as a freelance film and multimedia developer.

I suppose it would be half love story about the energy, creativity, hard work and fun that I have encountered. Included amongst this would be generous amounts of self indulgent anecdotes surrounding some of the wonderfully insane people who have kept me both in work and thoroughly entertained. I’d also have to cover my love of the form; how the satisfaction from composing a decent shot has developed into a passion for still photgraphy (no pun intended), and the absolute pleasure of creating something that someone else might, just possibly, in my wildest dreams, like even just a bit and having complete ownership of that.

The other half will be an account of some of the things I have learned in the four short years I have been doing it for, in case anyone else would like to try their hand at it. Hardly a textbook “How to” guide, it will be a collection of a series of my mistakes, from mild to catastrophic, and how others could maybe avoid some of the pitfalls that I leapt into!

In all I’d like to think it would be an entertaining read; even if someone took absolutely nothing of use from it whatsoever, I’d like to maybe put a smile on their face for a few minutes.

I think that just about covers it….and finally, just to reiterate; not won anything ever…in my whole life…not a sausage

Angelmouse at 10:21 pm on September 19th, 2009

I have two passions, scuba diving and rabbits (more accurately rabbit welfare and trying to raise standards), and since I’ve been banned from one for health reasons for the last two years, my book would have to be about rabbits.  It would have bits about welfare, rescues, neutering, and a couple of stories about rabbits who have been rescued from bad situations and how they are now.  As well as that, it would also feature just what owning a rabbit can do for you, and how they can help you (mine have helped me through some incredibly bad patches in recent years) and that they aren’t just for shutting up in hutches at the end of the garden and forgetting about.  As for a title, how about “do you carrot all?”

Bob at 12:38 am on September 20th, 2009

Customer feedback.
“Pls don’t bug the computer”

danny maris at 12:48 am on September 20th, 2009

How do you feel about your image on that card - presumably from the book cover. It’s like the queen’s head on a coin, really isn’t it. Doesn’t actually look anything like her in any way whatsoever really!  So, how do you feel about your image on the Queen of Hearts card?  Did you get approval rights?

David Bailey at 5:14 am on September 20th, 2009


My passion is to spread understanding of myxomatosis in humans. It’s a little known problem (some might say it doesn’t even exist) but in this age of fear spreading, I feel people should be petrified at the very sight of a fluffy bunny.  Title ? , erm, “Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow”.

All the best with the book and future endeavours.
May the cards be your friends.

I must now return to my pharmaceutical battle with a suicide bomber wisdom tooth that is attempting to overthrow the civilisation of my gob.

RomanticRecluse at 11:19 am on September 20th, 2009

My book would be about my love-hate relationship with the North of England, an area where you can find breathtaking beauty spots and soul-sapping dumps, the salt of the earth and the scum of the earth and huge potential and huge frustration.  It will sketch the rise and the fall of the North, select some of its heroes and villains (from The Beatles to the Blackout Crew, from J. B. Priestley to mrchimp2007 and from The Rochdale Pioneers to Karen Matthews) and predict its future.  It will offer possible solutions to the North’s problems and make me as popular in the North as Salman Rushdie is in Iran.

The title?  I’m tempted by “Beer & Sex & Dips R Crazy” or “The Guide To Rough Britain: The North” but I think “T’State Wuh’re In, Our Kid” would be more fitting.

Mike at 12:33 pm on September 20th, 2009

Unfortunately my passions in life are constantly shifting, and though they all play a large part in consuming my life to focus on one would be impossible, especially if I were to write a book on them.  Therefore, I feel that I would need to write an autobiography that tells the story of my own life through error and experience and provide little nuggets of wisdom to others through many different forms - be it poker, Egyptology, riddling or a love of gin.

It’s a shame that it would be of no real interest to anyone other than myself and I’m sure it would be one of those rare books not even stocked by Amazon, let alone appearing on their sales ranking.

There are a few possible titles: 
My Life Doesn’t Understand Me;
I Think My Plant is Dying; or
Please Don’t Steal My Echo

C Scott at 5:18 pm on September 20th, 2009

@M - If you’re planning to read Bukowski I would definitely recommend having a little of whatever cheers you up nearby!

@ Ross Bliss - My copy was found nestling alongside Coco Chanel and Churchill. When added to Whitfield and Titchmarsh, you could have the makings of an interesting dinner party or, dare I say, poker game.

M at 10:21 pm on September 20th, 2009

@C More of a problem for me with books is whether I need to concentrate when reading them, rather than the content, as that limits when I can read them.  It did amuse me that the Linnea Sinclair books ended up by the Sartre during the last random tidying of shelves though :)

Julio Verme at 11:28 pm on September 20th, 2009

My girl is my greatest passion. I’d call it “You, Whenever You’re Here”. Just like some old chap used to sing in Vegas… Always On My Mind!

C Scott at 11:08 am on September 22nd, 2009

Ok, so the words ‘canine companion’ in my first post are annoying - please replace with ‘dog’, although the former does a better job of conveying the temporal dimension… I know, it really doesn’t matter

Victoria Coren

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