Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player

Hair On The X Factor

Monday, 30 November 2009

That’s what I wrote about in my Observer column this week. Hair on the X Factor. In my head, I spun it out cleverly into a thoughtful and MASSIVELY SIGNIFICANT reflection on the challenges of existence and everything it means to be human. But the commenters on CiF just seem to be cross that I wrote about hair on the X Factor. They’re probably right *sigh*. I think I’ll take a week off, and surge back in a fortnight with my thoughts on the Belarussians’ struggle for political freedom.

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David R at 6:56 pm on November 30th, 2009

Speaking of Cheryl Cole’s hair advert, I think the clip below (featuring the wonderful Rachel Adedeji from the X Factor) would make a fantastic hair advert:

(Contains the immortal line:

“My besty approves of my hair, so I’M happy. Gimmie a slap on the head.”)

Pete at 7:34 pm on November 30th, 2009

Think I speak for the majority of people who visit here when I say we’d rather have one Vicky over a hundred Cheryl Coles. (otherwise we’d be on her blog)

Don’t let the commentators get to you, As long as the quality of the articles stay as high as it is, just write whatever you like- it’s your column, not theirs.

Dom R at 7:49 pm on November 30th, 2009

I don’t watch the X Factor and had no idea who Angelina’s children were, but I enjoyed the column.

There’s nothing wrong with popular culture - if there were, it wouldn’t be popular - and I’m sure there are plenty of people who care deeply about Cheryl Cole’s hair.

I’m not one of them, but I wouldn’t deny anyone the right to enjoy a bit of mindless Saturday night entertainment. I’m sure many of the people that love it do so *because of* rather than in spite of the fakery and cheesiness.

Also agree with Pete - it’s your column, not theirs. Write what you want and if people don’t like it, they don’t have to read it.

Dan at 8:09 pm on November 30th, 2009

More profound commentary from CiF.  The whole fun of this type of column is you can write about what you want.  Not the whole fun, but you know what I mean.  What on earth motivates people to leave comments like that?

C Scott at 11:31 pm on November 30th, 2009

Most of the commenters on CiF are idiots. You must know that by now.

The relevance of your writing this week is further illustrated by @DrSamuelJohnson who has sagely noted, “Whiten’d Homunculi JEDWARD do raise their HAIR whilst flattening their NOTES”

Anglianlass at 10:43 am on December 1st, 2009

Dear Miss C,
Probably heard it before, but if they were as erudite as you, they’d be getting paid too.

Also, just finished your book and about to move onto the next one (OMWF) . Brilliant work. Write a couple more and you can be an OC question.


John at 5:01 pm on December 1st, 2009

As I gazed upwards into the cold, starry sky, brand X Factor was not on the tip of my tongue, and Cheryl Cole’s smiley eyes didn’t outshine the heavenly bods; not this time… However, Simon Cowell’s teeth extensions, admittedly blinding, are, in themselves, snowy distractors: fairy lights draped over the crumbling masonry of these troubled times.
But I do think my fiver on Joe will be money well spent, and it’ll pay for the turkey.

MarkP at 10:53 pm on December 1st, 2009

Oh please don’t change, I love your writing. Whatever those half-wits say on CIF, I think your columns are brilliant. The one about the Bible and twitter is the funniest thing I’ve read all year. The bit about putting smiley faces after the Ten Commandments is still making me laugh, ignore the idiots and carry on.

Perry at 12:01 am on December 2nd, 2009

I read the article on my phone while commuting to London. I thought it was pretty entertaining, who knew you could be so enlightened from Cheryl Cole’s hair. I need to get that inspired over the most random (and manufactured) of things.

Great article, don’t listen to the powers that be, fight the man and all that.

daniel maris at 1:25 pm on December 2nd, 2009

Must confess I have been enjoying X Factor. Oh God, I know. Shouldn’t really but there you are. I don’t watch Jungle, Strictly or Big B.  The Geordie guy is v. good technically. And Stacey is such an oddity that her performances do have a strange power about them.

Re hair, did you comment on Simon’s scarily hairy hands?  There was something about him getting them waxed yesterday - so even he’s worried.

As for Cheryl she is a desirable poppet but the thought of grabbing a handful of acryclic is not v. appetising. Same goes for Danni’s silicon enhancement.

Fakey Jakey at 1:48 pm on December 2nd, 2009

Who was it who said “The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about”?? Stephen Fry, probably ;-) Keep up the good work, V. I look forward to reading your take on Tess D’s costume jewellery, and the other fashion dis-ar-stars viewers are regularly subjected to on that other shining beacon of quality programming, Strictly Come Preening.

glasgow rich at 5:23 pm on December 2nd, 2009

tis the season to feel like shit.

let’s all go on holiday with wine and sunshine.

Matt Taylor at 12:57 am on December 3rd, 2009

I’d pretty much like to echo the sentiments below.  I can’t help thinking, after reading most of the stuff posted on the Guardian’s ‘Comment is Free’ sections, that if those comments are indeed free I’m still being overcharged.

Andrew at 5:20 am on December 3rd, 2009

I’ve never watched any of Simon Cowell’s shows - they don’t appeal to me.  BUT ... even I can see that your CIF detractors (a minority even there I think) are the folks who dislike anything ‘popular’ on sight.  I wouldn’t pay too much attention to them.

As to Mrs Cole’s hair extensions - I think they are a desperate bid to look more like La Coren. In your dreams, Cheryl, in your dreams…

daniel maris at 1:16 am on December 5th, 2009

Victoria you’re looking lovely on Only Connect right now BBC4. Tres elegant in that sophisticated dress.

Oh yes - and the quiz is entertaining as well.

adam at 3:31 pm on December 6th, 2009

hi Vicki,
i haven’t been following x-factor or IAC this year, but hooked on strictly. it makes me want to take dance classes. now it occurs to me that you would make an ideal contestant. would you consider it or would the press intrusion be too much?
btw there is a history of games starting on bbc 4 monday, might be interesting.

Victoria Coren at 6:57 pm on December 6th, 2009

I think I might actually be a guest on that history of games - I did an interview about poker for a BBC 4 series and maybe that was it? Let me know if I crop up!

  I would never go on Strictly Come Dancing because I’m a terrible dancer, but I’m quite certain they’d never ask me on it anyway. I’m about a million light years not famous enough.

jamieg at 1:34 pm on December 8th, 2009


What’s with the irregular slots on the Observer?  I do get down when your beaming face is not on the last few pages, especially when I’ve gone to the effort of reading through all of the comment section (slightly OCD about fairness).  I’ve not checked out your section of the or indeed this lovely website before.  Where do those funny people get the time to vent their anger?  Do they comment on everything in the paper (Cross about flippancy of weather map, Furious about font size of page numbers?!).
I love your articles because I enjoy a good guffaw on a hungover sunday.  Does this make me a philistine?
Unfortunately yes - I’ve just looked it up on Wikipedia.

Victoria Coren

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