Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player

Happy Memories

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

What a lovely photo of Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife.

The first question is, how did M. Sarkozy find a box so quickly?

  But what’s really great is, it’s a photo that sums up a relationship. I bet Prince Charles would look at that with sympathetic memories. Come on Nicolas, edge across, get yourself in there, nice big smile! Who is the president here, after all?

  It tells you everything you need to know about the dynamic. In that sense, it reminds me of a great caption I once saw in Hello! magazine, under a photo of Anna Nicole Smith and her 90-year-old billionaire husband J Howard Marshall. You don’t need to see the picture - which is lucky, because I don’t have it - all you need is the caption:
  “J Howard relaxes in his wheelchair as Anna picks out gems.”

Facebook Google Digg Reddit Yahoo! StembleUpon Newsbine LiveJournal BlinkList

Add Comment


Chris at 4:57 pm on August 11th, 2010

From the little I know of them, they both deserve each other.. Am I to assume that you disapprove?

Victoria Coren at 6:09 pm on August 11th, 2010

Oh, course not. There’s too much serious stuff in the world to disapprove of, no point worrying about other people’s marriages. I just find them an entertaining couple.

Andrew at 8:38 pm on August 11th, 2010

They both look like part of a Daz commercial to me… As far as i can tell, ‘real life’ couples are very boring, as they should be.

Ollie Davies at 9:42 pm on August 11th, 2010

Their relationship is closer to that of Laurel and Hardy’s than an actual married couple.

Lego at 12:42 am on August 12th, 2010

You’re harsh, Victoria. Besides, he was probably wearing high heels ;) - although as a slight shorty, I probably should be protesting. :D

Ah, Anna Nicole and her billionaire hubby. There’s no fool like an old fool, as they say. I think you do tend to do a lot of relaxing when you’re 90 years old. It’s a wonder she never smothered him to death if she sat on his lap.

Still, I’m not sure I want to think about the physicalities of their relationship TOO much.

Hey, I made the comment character limit again! *lose the damn limit* *hint* *lose the damn limit* ;)

Roman at 5:39 am on August 12th, 2010

A scary twosome!

On the one hand, Sarko is a truly gifted rhetorician and showman, no doubt, but on the other hand he’s just a poisonous little dwarf with a Napoleonic complex.

For example, take the new term he coined during the banlieue riots:  “nettoyer au Kärcher”. I mean, think about it, that’s BRILLIANT and terrifying at the same time, isn’t it?

Et l’hôtesse du palais? The list of her former catches is self-explanatory, I guess.

Well, every country has the politicians it deserves - Sarko, Merkel, Berlusconi, Putin, Cameron ... they all are products of their environment.

Silvio B., by the way, is another living proof that men under 3’7” should not be allowed in politics:

mike at 9:43 am on August 12th, 2010

Hi Vicky,

How nice for you to bring to our attention the situation regarding President Sarkozy and his extremely charismatic wife.  But, leaving the politics of it aside for a minute or so, we have our own lovable duo in the shape of David and Samantha and the new Cameron on the way. Now that surely will be a very long lasting coalition for the three of them.

Thank you for a cheery story on a wet day here in Norfolk.

AndytheDealer at 10:15 am on August 12th, 2010

Dear Vicky,

Isn’t having your photo taken with someone who’s famous the new autograph?

If so, looking at the photo, perhaps the lady on the right already has one of herself with M. Le President and wanted one with La Premier Dame.

Perhaps M. Sarkozy knows that the next photo is going to be a menage a trois to complete the triptych that will hang in the lady’s living room and is merely limbering up his smile for the occasion.

My personal opinion is that Mme. Sarkozy looks very bossy.  She’s nobbled the lady on the right’s camera, elbowed her husband out of the way and taken the photo herself, completely contrary to modern etiquette which is, you let the person who wants the photo take it whilst you pull your bestist, most genuine smile.

N.B. Ms Coren, N.B.

Victoria Coren at 12:22 pm on August 12th, 2010

OR maybe the lady in the grey vest is someone of whom Carla is a huge fan. Why are we all assuming it’s the other woman’s camera…?

Sam at 5:19 pm on August 12th, 2010

To be honest, if I were a 90 year old billionaire and some blonde in her early 20’s with a bosom the size of my bank account wanted to dig for my gold, I’d be more than happy to let her.

AndytheDealer at 10:35 pm on August 12th, 2010

Could be, could be. If so, who is in the red shirt behind the lady in the grey vest because he or she is probably in the photo too…?  This gets curiouser and curiouser.

Lego at 12:28 am on August 13th, 2010

“poisonous little dwarf.” Roman, he’s not a dwar…on wait, he’s 5’5’‘, maybe you have something there…Wow, I didn’t know he was THAT small. Credit to the French that they voted for him in these modern, image conscious times, considering no American president has been under 6’‘.

Mike, “we have our own lovable duo in the shape of David and Samantha” !?! I hope you’re joking. Where’s a vomit smilie when you need one?

Ok, I’ll stop being cheeky and nagging about the character limit. I know what women are like anyway, the more you try to get them to do something, the more they’ll dig their heels in and completely refuse. ;)

mike at 9:53 am on August 13th, 2010


I was reading about President Sarkozy in The Times yesterday, and it appears that he wears a manchain.

The French president is not atypical for most politicians in wearing a manchain, but what do you think wearing bling says about the men who wear it, or about men wearing bling in general?

Chris at 10:17 am on August 13th, 2010

Let’s face it, ‘marriage’ is simply a contract between two parties. With every couple writing their own T&C’s..
Sex for money, security for company, status for sex.. If it’s mutually understood, why should anyone else care that much?

MDW at 1:35 pm on August 13th, 2010

There’s someone taking a picture of Carla Bruni taking a picture - the question is, is there someone taking a picture of the person taking a picture of Carla Bruni taking a picture ? cos that’s the picture I want to see.

Are we sure she is not pouring a cup of water into the Invisible Man’s glass? Paul Daniels watch out

Roman at 7:38 pm on August 13th, 2010

@Lego: No affront intended, God forbid!

Of course, height does not matter as long as you’re at peace with the world and yourself ... which he obviously isn’t!

He’s as vain as a horny cockerel! It’s only right that an overly image-conscious person like him gets the scrutiny he deserves.

Oh, and by the way:

I like odd couples!
Age difference, height difference, language barrier, different jobs, different nationalities, different levels of fame, different poker styles, differently sized noses, different brands of cigarettes ... I would even go so far as to say that they’re most likely the more interesting relationships.

Chris at 8:12 am on August 14th, 2010

Politicians and celebs thrive on publicity so they have to be considered ‘fair game’ for criticism and even mockery but is there any chance we could move a little closer to home VC? Surely your wonderful cynicism, considerable intellect and honed literary skills are worthy of something less frivolous?

..the former chairman of RBS maybe? Perhaps one of our more recent PM’s who have been responsible for some of the dodgiest political decisions in a very long time.. eg. What REALLY happened to David Kelly?
Do YOU believe the suicide story?

Give us some meat VC, I dare yer! :-)

Jeremy Rees at 7:05 pm on August 18th, 2010

“J Howard relaxes in his wheelchair as Anna picks out gems.”

- Hahahaha that made me laugh.
Thank for brightening my day, Victoria, even if there is coffee all over my screen now!!

King John II at 3:07 am on August 20th, 2010

Every current leader in the world has at least one thing going for them THEY’RE NOT GORDON BROWN. Exactly what Sarkozy’s size has got to do with anything is beyond me. Jealousy, probably.

ralphatoldfarm at 12:49 pm on August 22nd, 2010

Victoria ! A fine column as always. But I was reminded of Emily Dickinson’s dashes which - I think - are the only punctuation in her poetry. You could write a paper on this, but I dont think you want yet another career. . . . ....!
Looking forward to the next ONLY CONNECT

Victoria Coren

News: September 2017

September 7th is a big day!

Click here to read more »

Switch Theme

Click here to change colour scheme

RSS Feed

Subscribe to the RSS feed here