Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player

Sorry, sorry

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Someone posted on one of the threads recently saying there were increasingly large gaps between the blog posts. I do apologize. There are lots of reasons, but certainly I lay much of the blame at the feet of Twitter… It’s so easy to throw the odd anecdotal sentence out there, and then suddenly it feels all long-winded to be writing it up in proper paragraphs.

  I’m at if you’re a fan of Twitter (there’s a link at the bottom of the left-hand menu). People have been sending me some very funny messages there today - ever since I tweeted from the main poker tournament at the PCA, where everyone was listening to iPods (motivational thumping music to help them raise aggressively, and calming mood music to help them fold), that I was certainly the only one in the room listening to old episodes of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue. Since then, a round of the ISIHAC party announcer game has broken out on a poker theme. I love how baffling it must be for so many people. Half the Twitter community has no idea what poker is. And far more are strangers to I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue. For anyone in the middle of that Venn diagram, God knows what they will make of the tweet “Please welcome Mr & Mrs Thegunagain and their lovely daughter Amanda”. It might as well be written in Chinese.

  That’s another reason for not blogging so much - I’m currently in the Bahamas for the PCA (or PokerStars Caribbean Adventure), and this year, all the women from PokerStars Team Pro have been given little digi-cameras to carry around and make video diaries. What with that and Twitter, I feel like I’m RAMBLING ON ABOUT MYSELF CONSTANTLY, and am spent for blog tales.

  Bit of a nightmare, these video diaries. It’s a fun idea for footage on the website, but basically it’s a way of being online every day looking terrible. That’s mainly my fault, since I’m far too lazy to put makeup on in a hot place. But it’s also partly the fault of what happens if you film yourself with a video camera held at arm’s length and your arms are quite short. Have you ever tried it? The result is like looking at yourself in the back of a spoon. If you want to see my first attempt - from the night before the main event - you can point and laugh at it here.

  It’s outdated, unfortunately, because I’m no longer in the main event. The next morning, I was able to record this Day 2 video - and when I say “able”, I mean “unable”; this is only half a video, because my camera ran out of batteries after a minute and a half.

  I shan’t bore you with the full details of my Day One chip problems - unlike the total stranger who wandered up to me at the casino cash desk this morning and launched into a long story about his AQ without even telling me his name. I was forgiving, though. I recognize the pain…

  Never mind. I knew this wouldn’t be as brilliant a year as my previous visits to the PCA (two of my favourite ever poker trips), I was braced. I’m going to play some side events, hope to get some sunshine, eat lots of nice dinners and think of ways to shoot “interesting” angles on my digicam, eg. me hiding behind a sofa, which has got to be more flattering than not hiding behind one. It will be a challenge for my new film-maker’s brain. (Is this how Werner Herzog got started?)

  I shall update here if I win anything, and possibly even post more links to my clumsy home movies, if they make it as far as the site…

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Ja at 7:54 am on January 11th, 2011

Now you’ve grown your “film-maker’s” wings- can we look forward to “Only Connect- The Movie”?

Ja at 10:15 am on January 11th, 2011

I’m on a roll here- I’m now working on the plot for “Only Connect- The Movie”.

” A game show host (you can play yourself, Vicky), smart, attractive: falls for a younger man (we’ll call him Alex). She knows deep down their love can never be. She decides to lose herself in gambling (perhaps cards), and ends up in a room, somewhere exotic, with nothing but a bottle of Merlot, a book, and possibly a drawer full of chocolate to keep her company. The cards have not been with her today, and she consoles herself by filming her lonely life for all to see… when who should she meet.. but a mysterious guy who can’t go into what he does in much detail… (I could play that role).. Vicky realises that her love for Alex was just a crush- this was the real thing!”.

What do you think?

Mike at 10:37 am on January 11th, 2011

I did notice that there were longish gaps between your own posts on the blog, but decided that you were either, a) Enjoying a break in a sunny country away from snow, ice and slippery pavements b) Busy writing a book about your secret poker diaries. or c) had met a fantastic bloke who wants to take you away from all this and be your permanent friend, lover, and an all round decent chap. Well it seems I got one of those three right, and maybe the other 2 will follow. Enjoy the rest of your sojourn in the sun. I look forward, as ever, to your opinions and experiences on this blog.

jim carr at 12:23 pm on January 11th, 2011

Victoria, the bahamas in january? it’s tough but someone has to do it!
Your mention of the “party announcer game” from ISIHAC reminds me of spike milligan managing to get one past the bbc censors in the mid 1950s. He had a character say: “hello, im captain jampton, hugh jampton.” a few of the audience got it, and 50 some years later it made me laugh.
I hope you manage to win your fare home,and are not forced to stay in the tropical paradise until the british winter is over (june?)

Dr Bob at 12:33 pm on January 11th, 2011

If you want to avoid looking like you’re reflected in the back of a spoon, why not lengthen the shot by filming your reflection in a mirror? That way you can effectively be across the room from the camera. Or, in fact, across the room and back again.

the sweep at 4:29 pm on January 11th, 2011

i like these vids, MOAR pleeze. hows about filming yourself getting “involved” in the pit? blackjack, dice etc at least let us sweat a hand with you in a cash game

Ja at 4:52 pm on January 11th, 2011

But hey- wait a minute Vicky.. I was forgetting- you’ve ventured into the glamorous world of film making before- I was given a book for Christmas about your exploits (I have only read the intro so far- seems a bit racy!).
I wasn’t thinking that “Only Connect- The Movie” would be that sort of film.. (no plumbers etc…).

RomanticRecluse at 11:11 pm on January 11th, 2011

I think Gordon Ramsay deserves apologies.  Some people have been making cruel comments about his appearance.  I thought that sort of thing was called bullying and it was supposed to be wrong.  Still, it’s a fascinating glimpse of human life…

Why do people write love letters and not send them, especially if they are lonely and sobbing over old episodes of Mad Men on Boxing Day?  They should send those letters because they might make the person who receives them happy.  They might not but they might but either way it’s a loving thing to do.

So if anyone has written a love letter and not sent it send it.  Send it first class in the next post!  Send it by e-mail now!!  Send it!!!

There are only 347 writing days left to Christmas 2011.

Julian at 6:33 am on January 12th, 2011

After watching your videos, I have decided that you really are the funniest woman in the world! I belly laughed at the dolphin thing, very funny!

Chris at 11:06 am on January 12th, 2011

Watched the first video and forgive me for saying that you blew my mind.. soo many women would run a mile before letting a videocam catch them ‘out of make up’ but yet again you reveal a natural ability to be who you are and say what you think. Thank you for taking the tme to blog and for such a wonderful glimpse of who you are.

Palladian at 6:34 pm on January 13th, 2011

The ever-fragrant Miss Coren in a fluffy towelling robe with wine to hand, and then disporting herself on her veranda in a swimsuit.

St. Anselm would have to agree that to be further ontological evidence of a loving God.

Ken Singtone at 5:32 pm on January 14th, 2011

Sorry this is a bit late, I should have posted it in December.
May I introduce Mr & Mrs Mascard and their son Christopher.

Victoria Coren

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