Victoria Coren Mitchell - Writer, Broadcaster & Poker Player


Heresy 3

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

It’s a very funny episode of Heresy tonight (6.30pm Radio 4) with guests David Baddiel, Polly Vernon and Dave Gorman. The received opinions, with which the audience agrees but the guests must demolish, are

ASHLEY COLE IS A BAD PERSON

BRITISH COMEDY IS MORE OFFENSIVE THAN EVER

and

CATWALK FASHION IS UNWEARABLE FOR NORMAL PEOPLE.

  Would you be a heretic on these, or agree with all of them? If the latter, perhaps the panel can change your mind…

  Mainly, though, I’d just tip that this is an episode with some very good jokes in it.

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Comments

Sean at 2:07 pm on June 1st, 2010

Agree with them all!


brian thomson at 3:53 pm on June 1st, 2010

The way I understand it, to be a catwalk model you have to be able to show off the clothes at their best i.e. you’d be a walking coathanger, with none of those unwieldy bits that bend clothes out of shape. You can’t have a personality either, which may explain why Jodie Kidd spends more time these days presenting shows and driving reasonably-priced cars. 8)


Jelliphiish at 4:27 pm on June 1st, 2010

cheers for the heads up. will there be a podcast for if we can’t be prompt?


spiderpig at 8:05 pm on June 1st, 2010

Oooh, I disagree with all of these.

Ashley Cole: boy in a sweetshop, albeit a thieving, greedy boy. Personally, I think it’s worse to drive down a residential road at twice the speed limit! (Having said that, I might not think that were I in Cheryl’s position, but I’m never going to get married so I’ll NEVER be in her position.)

Comedy: the thing is, offensive is funny! Even in a shocked, OMG-I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that-ha-ha-ha-ha-oops way. Again, it’s different if you’re the one who’s the butt of the joke, but normally it’s not intended in an offensive way, and for meaning, intention is important (see P F Strawson. Oh no, this isn’t a philosophy exam…)

Fashion: If you wear it confidently, people will think it looks good.

(Not really, but for word limit it’ll do.)


Mr C. Edge at 12:19 am on June 2nd, 2010

I think British comedy’s more offensive. In fact I’m working on a script based on this very theme: Mr Edge. He’s the most outrageous comedian in Britain, and naturally all the trendy young arse candles want to be just like him.
During an onstage rant, he discusses how he enjoys downloading child porn, but then breaks down crying and reveals to the audience that he was sexually abused as a child (of course the audience think he’s joking) In sheer despair he shoots his face off with a cannon. All the edgewhiffers then kill themselves because their God has died. But then he gets up! (the cannonball was actually made out of good old harmless faeces) He writes “The end?” in someone’s blood, and then the whole world explodes in a massive ball of aids. Co-writer?


Ginger Pogue at 12:53 pm on June 2nd, 2010

Mmmmmmmkayy!!  Anyone else on here other than me think that someone should put a 2 way lock on Mr Edge’s door?


MDW at 3:22 pm on June 2nd, 2010

British comedy was much more offensive in the past as it had stock target groups, when I was growing up they seemed to mainly be ‘the coloureds’ and ‘the puffters’
(please note, I’m using 70’s style sitcom words to illustrate my point)

Modern British comedy slaughters everyone and this is a much fairer system - if you’re not sure, watch one episode of Mind Your Language or Till Death Do Us Part.

Ask yourself this, who is more offensive:

Bernard Manning or Ricky Gervais
Jim Davidson or Russell Brand
Chubby Brown or Sacha Baron Cohen
Tom O’Connor or Stewart Lee

Fashion

I’m a normal ish person and I’m always in the latest catwalk looks, this years look is military/nautical - so I’m dressed like an extra from Sharpe

with added snorkel accessory

and flippers


Daniel at 3:58 pm on June 2nd, 2010

Ashley Cole is one of the greatest defenders England has ever produced. Regardless of his temperament, this is the critical factor. How can you be a bad person when you provide millions of people with great entertainment every weekend?

Rafa Benitez is a bad person for attempting to kill the game, Peter Storrie is a bad person for dragging Portsmouth through muck and mire while still picking up a huge cheque. King Leopold II was a bad person for butchering his way through the Congo in 1890.

Ashley Cole is not a bad person, quite the opposite.


Davie K at 8:55 pm on June 2nd, 2010

Hi Vicky,

Just finished reading ‘For Richer, For Poorer’ which I’d recommend to anyone, whether expert poker player or (like me) a complete novice.

I only wish I had noticed that the rules of most poker variants are explained at the back of the book. Oops!

Thanks for a great read. If I may say so, I think your Dad would be really proud.

Davie K, Peterborough


AndytheDealer at 10:12 pm on June 2nd, 2010

Modern Comics: More offensive, no, more aggressive, definitely.

Ashley Cole: Good heavens, in his position I’d probably do something similar. 

Catwalk fashion unwearable:  I think Anthony Price’s suits are amazing.  If only I could afford to wear them.

Oh dear, I appear to be potentially, a cowardly, envious, adulterer.  Good job I can’t kick a football very well.


Roman at 2:47 am on June 3rd, 2010

Salut Victoria, it’s been a while ...

I had to laugh out loud when I read your tweet about Swiss gaming legislation. Now THAT must be a sight .... you, a sceptre in the hand, your wings solemnly worn, pontificating about Swiss gaming laws :-) hihi

Today is a sad day for Swiss poker. The Federal Gaming Board classified tournament poker as a game of skill a couple of years ago and allowed commercial poker outside of casinos.  A truly vibrant community with dozens of poker clubs has emerged. But - guess what - the casinos don’t like new competitors. They brought the case to the Federal Supreme Court arguing that poker was a game of luck. They won. The monopoly’s back.

Did you do the interview after all? Where can we find it? You’re still gorgeous. A sentimental sigh from Zürich, R


C Scott at 8:46 am on June 3rd, 2010

There isn’t a *British* sense of humour: generally, the Scots’ SOH *tends* to be self-deprecating while the English SOH *tends* to be other-deprecating. (For example, Frankie Boyle’s trajectory: as he has grown in popularity (& viciousness) in England, he has lost fans in Scotland)


Neil at 2:26 pm on June 3rd, 2010

Off Topic, but had to bring this to your attention - read about the “Grim Eater” banned from funerals in New Zealand -
http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKTRE6522WH20100603

Funeral home steps in to stop the “grim eater”
WELLINGTON
Thu Jun 3, 2010 2:16pm BST

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand funeral home has stepped in to stop a fake mourner who was attending up to four funerals a week to stock up on food, even filling up tupperware containers to take home, according to media reports.


The Tim at 9:26 pm on June 3rd, 2010

So, Neil, has Terence Jolley now emigrated to the land of the sheep?


ConstantlyNooble at 2:56 pm on June 5th, 2010

For Asley Cole and me….
Polygamy is the way. It’s got to be more natural and harmonious than monotonous monogamy. One just has to be married to the right women (who get along with each other)  to cover all one’s multifaceted nature (cause if you cheat you’ve let a whole team down).
Definitely Victoria you would be one of my three. It’s that cute proud expression you have that I love.


The Tim at 6:45 pm on June 5th, 2010

Is it just me or can’t anyone get onto the latest ‘Hurray for Only Connect’ thread? I seem to get stopped.


Victoria Coren at 8:45 pm on June 5th, 2010

That’s odd - I checked and other people can read it…


MarkP at 10:50 am on June 6th, 2010

Me too, I can’t read your latest entry. Although I think it’s a Firefox issue because I can see it if I use the dreaded IE.
C’mon Vicky make your blog open source friendly. Ask yourself what would the Large Hadron Collider do.


The Tim at 8:02 pm on June 6th, 2010

Thanks for the tip Mark - I can now see it in IE - who was it said that Firefox was so much better?


Victoria Coren

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