The Sound Of Silence
Friday, 25 February 2011
I’m sorry I’ve only written one blog this month. I feel bad. I didn’t write enough in December, then I was all prolific in January, then I went quiet again. What can I say? I didn’t know what to blog about.
I went to a poker tournament in Nottingham but - no disrespect to Nottingham - it just didn’t look as good in pictures as the Bahamas.
I was going to write about Michael Winner, but then I wrote a column about him and it seemed obsessive to go on about him everywhere.
There was something I noticed about the Speaker of the House of Commons and his wife, but it was a bit saucy, and I didn’t want to post it directly after a blog about my new-born niece. Dunno why. Call me old-fashioned. I’ll write about it somewhere at some point.
So maybe I’ll give you my good news/bad news. Good news: we’re filming a new series of Only Connect next month, for broadcast in the autumn! Bad news: we’re filming it in High Definition. The producer rang today to “warn” me.
She used that word, “warn”. Oh God, I thought… she’s noticed my teeth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my teeth. They’re very English. I always laugh when I go to poker tournaments where they have posters up of PokerStars Team Pro. There are the Americans with their perfect shiny white gnashers… Vanessa Rousso’s in particular are a work of art… and then, there are John Duthie and me with our piratical tombstone smiles. No shame in that. I’ve never understood capping. Why would you drill away perfectly healthy teeth to replace them with plastic ones?
Nevertheless, you may find I’m not smiling much in the next series of OC. Not that I smile much anyway. But I’ll be extra careful this time; don’t want to start getting stalked by dentists with hi-def TV’s.
[If you’re an ardent quizzer and the autumn seems too far away: there will be a Comic Relief special of Only Connect in the week of March 14th, probably our usual slot on the Monday night. I’ll be smiling a lot in that one. Our celebrity quizzers were very funny.]