Two Things That Made Me Laugh
Friday, 20 January 2012
Here are two things that made me laugh in the paper today.
(1) Simon Cowell announces that this year’s winner of Britain’s Got Talent will “perform in space”, as he adds a trip on the Virgin Galactic craft to the prize pool.
If you’re a performer - a singer, a comedian, a juggler, a fire-eater - how does space compare with the Royal Variety Show, as a gig? Is it better or worse? I’m not sure the Royal Variety Show is the summit of performers’ aspirations any more. We never really believed they were more excited by that possibility than by simply appearing on Britain’s Got Talent. People always muttered that nobody watches the Royal Variety Show any more. Even the Queen doesn’t go. Thus, doesn’t sending the performers to outer space feel a bit satirical ? Meh, what difference; Royal Variety, outer space, much of a muchness. Off they go, into the BLACK SILENCE. As a metaphor for what usually happens to reality winners when the TV series ends, it’s a little… biting.
Having said that, I am so looking forward to the contestants earnestly telling the cameras (as they will no doubt have to, time after time), “It has always been my dream to perform in space…”
(2) David Cameron tells Now magazine that he loves to take his wife Sam out for dinner on Valentine’s Day “if he remembers to book a table early enough”. Oh yes. Because if David Cameron didn’t remember Valentine’s Day until, say, February 13th, he’d never get a table anywhere. They’d probably have to queue at McDonalds. It’s just another way in which David Cameron is exactly like the readers of Now magazine.
God forbid he’d say, “It used to be awful, because I never remembered to book a table in time. But that’s one of the few things I don’t have to worry about any more, because I’m the PRIME MINISTER. They just, kinda, let me in.”
Do you think people fall for it?!