God, I love a regional waxworks museum
Sunday, 15 July 2012
I’ve left Vegas now, after what I have to say I consider a fairly heroic Day 3 stand in the main event. After a horrible cooler hand at the end of Day 2, I came back with 7100 chips - just four big blinds. Most of my fellow players just laughed and said “Unlucky”, because it’s an unplayable stack - but I was fired up with bulldog spirit. (Unfortunately, the resemblance doesn’t end there). Getting lucky with my first shove, I grinded this 7100 up to a highly playable 85,000 with a series of bluffs and jabs before finally - for the first time in the entire tournament - finding a proper hand (QQ) and magically getting it all in against a player with JJ! Mentally, I wasn’t just stacking the 200k pot, I was telling the story of how I made the WSOP final from four big blinds.... when a jack smashed down on the river and I was free for a holiday.
So here on holiday I am, touring around in a budget rental car: sun, sea, sand and regional waxworks museums. My favourite. Obviously in the tinier towns of the world, such institutions can be pretty terrible, full of reject waxworks of unrecognisable people. In a big city like San Francisco, however (just 10 hours’ drive from Las Vegas - or 20 minutes if you’re on tilt), you get the good stuff.
Like Michael Jackson here, with comedian Helen Lederer:
To be honest, I was surprised that Helen Lederer’s fame was such that Americans would put her on a par with the King Of Pop. But it happened with Tracy Ullman, didn’t it, and Craig Ferguson. Sometimes we in Britain are cruelly complacent about performers that America can make huge.
The genius of this particular waxworks museum is that it didn’t restrict itself to 21st century fame. It had very impressive statuettes of Moses and Marie Antoinette; who could quibble with their accuracy? I have no idea what Moses looked like - although, I admit, I’d always imagined him a little less waxy.
Leaping forward a few centuries, the sex appeal of Mae West was captured at last for modern generations:
Gazing at that face, you can see what held a world of men in thrall.
Hollywood and the Bible exhausted, I came upon a likeness of Her Majesty the Queen - so uncannily lifelike that I practically curtseyed when I saw it:
Standing shoulder to shoulder with the Queen, of course, (for which waxworks museum would be complete without her?): the unrivalled beauty of the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
Never looked better.
I’m going to bed now, to have nightmares.